Passage along a fear-driven freight train

September 7, 2010

 Posted on -Where the Pen meets the Perineum

Shrouded in darkness,
my body begins to vibrate at intense speed   over what paranoia might arise
A rat claws  the wall behind me
Someone is breaking in the house..
the one who has been breaking in every ten seconds  for the last month then disappears when I look up
But he is there

Am I gonna have a heart-attack?
No, I’m going to cause a heart-attack from worrying about having one

What’s that noise?
Was someone already hiding in here when I closed the door?
There is someone  in here
No….maybe it’s the rat

Maybe Reggie was wrong and there IS demonic spirits
They’re just waiting for me to let my guard down

It’s been hours
I must’ve set my timer wrong
The sun is going to rise and I’ll be exhausted
I’m going to say the wrong thing to my kids
I need a job, I can’t keep living like this
Everyone thinks I’m a failure

What time is it?
Are my eyes closed? No they’re open…are they?

The timer is definitely set wrong
It’s okay, look
OH MY GOD! It’s only been an hour…

Is this really doing anything?
Maybe she was right, maybe it is a cult
Am I just fooling myself to FEEL like I’m doing something spiritual?
This is ridiculous, go to sleep
What about the rat?

As I awake
I see childrens faces that I’ve never seen before
I feel crispness like I’ve never felt before
Almost a different universe of space

Fear sped away at it’s own pace
without me holding the reigns

Behind it?

4 Responses to “Passage along a fear-driven freight train”

  1. Jingle said

    beautiful poem,
    u have vivid imaginations…

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